Politics - Sometimes I wonder about people

Sometimes I wonder about people.

I have seen a lot of politics in the workplace over the years. I grew up in the retail automotive industry since I was a kid back in Georgia. I've seen politics from Georgia to South Carolina to North Carolina. 

I learned a lot of nasty under handed crap just in the name of politics. I've been the one to purposefully NOT do the nasty things I've learned. It gets you NOWHERE in the long run. It is not a means to an end. You will fall eventually off that ladder of your facade of success. 

It seems that politics have taken over my department. It is a facade of innuendo and word play to cover one's rear end. 

An employee gets suspended for a violation in policy. The said employee turns herself in the same day it occurred.  Suspension took place about two weeks later (after the manager finally got around to it). During the employee's suspension, the violation gets looked at by other employees in the same department and another department. 

This is a violation of policy. It was brought to the manager's attention that the violation had been viewed by others. The manager blew it off as well as the manager's direct supervisor. 

Employee's suspension lasted three weeks and with pay. It was done. Over. Time to move on. Not so quite. A few weeks ago, a driver from another department approached the said employee about the incident. The driver said that she had allegedly seen the video and DSS was coming to get the employee. The employee told her manager who blew it off as innuendo and rumors. This is harassment and it is being allowed. The only thing the employee had told the other driver was if they had a problem with the policy violation, speak to her direct manager. This employee knew that she has a case of harassment.

There are many things that are happening around us that will eventually be one's own downfall. We have people that break rules, violate the law. It is not allowed to have ear phones for the safety of others. Yet, every day we have people that do it. We have people that violate traffic laws that are specific to our industry. Yet, it still happens. A tragedy will eventually happen. Not an IF, but a WHEN. I am going to make sure that it is told. When we have a safety issue, I TOLD YOU SO. 

People use our equipment for personal use. It is not an UBER! Three months 81 did this. I witnessed it three times. I referred the two of the incidents to management. The third time I knew it was NOT worth it. 7979 and 9191 witnessed 8181 do this for three months. it was not a so-and-so saw this and told us. 7979 and 9191 told 8181 to stop, she would get into trouble. All management did was send out an email stating it was a terminable offense. That was sent out before the third time I witnessed the same incident. 

Management wants things to look good for management. Management gets pissed if there is anything that goes against management in any way. 

There were two open positions in the office. I applied for both of them. The management sent a lead office staff out to do some interviews. Management  had NO INTENT on hiring from our department. Management brought in two people from different departments. Another lead was politically forced to another department. This lead was outspoken and smart. The lead that did the mock interviews is a good little soldier who will do as asked. It is all a legal farse. A facade of management's own innuendos and attitudes. Yet, manager does not take well to out spoken people. 

I question whether these people that were brought in has the credentials that were required for the position in the first place.

It is politics by design. Their own design. The palace will burn and we will encourage the flames.  

ADHD and a Student

It has been a hard road. One of my students who I will name Shamus Potter, has really tested me to the brink of quitting.

First off, he has been diagnosed with ADHD which is attention deficit disorder. His behavior shows some of the hallmark symptoms. He is a virtual human ball bouncing off the classroom walls.

Secondly, his behavior has gone way beyond his diagnosis of ADHD. He is disrespectful and a bully. He is aware of what he is doing.

Before anyone goes rattling off any negativity, read the following first:

First, I am not being highly specific due to confidentiality. Someone may be reading this and may recognize the specific child. I have to watch my words a bit.  The descriptions are accurate and did happen.

Second, I have limited experience working with special needs children. I have a lot of frustration due to my inexperience.

As I was saying . . . .

This child refuses to listen. He will not walk in line with his classmates. He runs up and down the hall as we leave from and come to our class room. 9 out of 10 he will NOT sit in circle time. He will find something else to do just to aggravate his classmates and his teachers.

My classroom is the 4^th one he has been in since he started preschool. His behavior is THAT bad. It has gone from being an issue to a severe problem. All children have some type of issue(s) which is correctable. Problems surface when there is NO consistency, parenting, or otherwise correctable action taking place.

He has threatened to shoot his classmates and the police. He has threatened to stab a teacher in the stomach. He will hit, kick, and punch his classmates if he does not get his way. He has hit me on several occasions, pulled on my clothes, and bit me on one occasion.

He has ran outside to the playground on several occasions. We and others have had to go get him. The other students suffer when we have to get him inside.

He is smart. He tends to ramble from one thought to another, patterns are always different. He will talk about doing harm to his mom, one of us, or one of the students.

This is just a small part in what has happened in the four months I have worked in this classroom. I am very concerned about him going to Kindergarten. Will he hurt someone? How long will he stay before he gets kicked out of school?

The biggest kicker is his mom. Shamus Potter’s pediatrician diagnosed him and prescribed medication for him. His mom gave us (the school) his medication. He only got it when he was at school (Monday – Friday). Holidays and weekends he never got his medication. His mother needs to get her head out of the sand to the critical situation.

Now, I do have a few pieces of advice. First is consistency in his schedules, routines, and discipline. Second is disciplining him to the fullest and consistently never surrendering control. Third is to make sure he takes his medication. The pediatrician prescribed the medication for this child to help him, not to label. Lastly, his mother needs to stop worrying so much about “labeling’ and be proactive. His mother needs to schedule a meeting with the principle, guidance counselor, teachers, and the special needs coordinator at her child’s new school to discuss her child’s behavior. This is an act of being proactive. The school can assist her and her child to be successful in school. Without this, the school is gonna get bombed with this hellion child.

 

After all the crazy negative, I still care about Shamus Potter!

A new teacher's notes

I became a bus monitor for a few days on someone's bus. It was a new experience. Most drivers have a roster of who rides their bus. The monitor will write down when they get on the bus and when they exit. Pretty cool.

I was a substitute for another teacher's class until one of  the teachers came in. Each class has 2 teachers.

Our out-of-control child is getting the best of us. I'm sure the worst is yet to come. There are certain "symptoms" or "behaviors" that is consistent with ADHD; these same things manifest uniquely to the individual child. He has the disorder with other behavioral problems. He is beyond of "having issues", he is full throttle "having problems". 

Everything seems to go as planned. I have become an official assistant teacher with health benefits. I sign up in May!

February isn't for lovers

Last month, I did not mention I had a wreck. I was on my way to work when some chick in a Nissan pulled out in front of me to turn. I had  the right-of-way. The insurance company did total-loss on the car. I'm in a rental, a KIA.

One of our water pipes burst under the house. I had to fix it and wrap it because of freezing. It burst because it froze. I hate fixing shit. Just not, well . . . whatever! So damn tired of this house falling apart and staying here.

My job is still in tact. We had a Valentine's party for the children. It was fun. I have a child with ADHD who is out of control. We had a field trip to the library and it was fun. I'm so proud of my kids for showing their positive behavior! It was great and I let them know!

Mom had a sinus infection and stayed home a day. Ms Moore was out due to a stomach bug. I have not been out other than the day I had the wreck.

We had a teacher work day which was cancelled. A parent - teacher conference went well. Yay!

Peaceful days and poetry

It has been very peaceful these past few days at work. Thomas hasn’t been seen so my tears have not returned. I cashiered yesterday which was a new experience. I am used to moving around a lot in my department constantly. I stood around for a while in between customers. I felt like I was slacking off. I zoned around my register.

A customer came up to my register with a few items. One of them was liver or gizzards. Anyway, the lid was coming off and there was a bloody mess. I wanted to throw up! My OCD was kicking in and it was about to get bad! Luckily I had hand sanitizer and disinfectant spray so I took care of the spill immediately. I let the customer know I appreciated him being patient as I cleaned the spill up.

I am slowly working on compiling my poetry on a flash drive. Once I have compiled everything, I will begin printing it off for my poetry notebook.  It is going to be in titled sections. I may post some poetry on my blog as I go along. I’m excited that this project is under way! Maybe I can get it published one day!

I’ve been enjoying the late shifts this week. It has given me time to blog and keep up with my poetry project. I have some early shifts next week.  I will try to keep up on adding poetry to the flash drive as time permits. I will make a recommendation to my manager that I enjoy the later shifts.

About Me

I am putting myself out into the world. I know there will be some crazies out there, but it is ok.  Here are some things about me that people would find interesting.

Most valuable characteristics I have are loyalty, caring nature, raw, passionate, intelligence, emotional, and common sense. Most annoying or weakest characteristics I have are being too emotional, my colorful language, and being a smartass.

My hobbies include a wide range of things and activities. I collect stickers and books from my favorite authors. I collect small legos. I journal, do crafts, write poetry, collect and watch DVDs, and enjoy music.  I enjoy many things, but these are the main hobbies I have.

My musical taste varies a lot. I enjoy classic rock such as Marshall Tucker Band and Allman Bros. Contemporary music consists of Sarah Mclaughlin, Maroon 5, Madonna, and Adele. When I get into a philosophical or a contemplative mood, I like to listen to Van Morrison, Al Stewart, and Jackson Browne. I do enjoy heavy metal. I was, am, and always will be a metal head. Some of my favorites include Ozzy and Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Cradle of Filth, and Judas Priest. My music palate is big  as I do listen a lot based on moods.

Television is very limited to me with no cable or satellite. I refuse to pay the high prices for low quality shit people call shows nowadays. Sons of anarchy is by far the most unique and retrospective show I have watched. I am a fan of Ron Perlman (SOA character Clay Morrow) so I had to pick up the seasons on DVD. Any shows or movies based on Stephen King novels such as Haven and Under the Dome are great. I don’t watch too many animated shows; however, I do enjoy South Park and Family Guy.  Other shows I watch include Vampire Diaries, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, Person of Interest, and American Horror Story. Shows like Criminal Minds, CSI, and Hannibal are great because of the psychological and legal aspects of crimes.  I will always be an X-Files and Charmed fan. I love supernatural oddities and magic. I love collecting movies and shows on DVD.

There are subject areas that interest me in many ways. Some of the main subjects I enjoy reading about include mythology, religion, magic (Wicca), supernatural, criminalistics, psychology, tattoos, and religion. Haunted houses are very interesting to investigate.

I consider myself a BBW which means big beautiful woman. I’m changing my habits to lose some weight. That will change in the near future. I have pierced ears and tattoos. Let’s talk about tattoos and piercings for a moment. I have my own limitations and have limits on other people. I will not be intimate with a man who has his pecker pierced. Just won’t happen at all! I will not pierce anything other than my ears. I will not risk losing any sensation or be scratched in my woman area. As far as tattoos, no part of my woman parts will be inked.

Religion is a very hot topic. I am a Christian; however, I do consider myself spiritually philosophical as well. I have never been a devout Christian because people twist religion to fit their needs, not by God’s way. I do attend church on Sunday.

Basic favorites: tea, Mexican food, fall, October, Halloween, horror/sci-fi/action movies, Sly Stallone, Stephen King, purple, sterling silver jewelry, and Aerosmith.

Living by my heart, soul

Last night at work I wanted to cry. It is as I figured and proposed. Heartbreak.

My life now is being ruled by my heart. My heart is of love, passion, emotion, soul, care, and goodness. My head is full of logic, anger, contemplation, and indifference. Both seem to find parallel paths in this world and in my life.

 

I found out that Thomas has a 27 year old son and a grand baby. It’s wonderful!!!!!!   J

I told a co-worker that hangs out with him my age. She is his buddy which is cool. He made a comment to the effect that time was running out. Shit! I wanted to cry and scream at him. I wanted to tell him that I know that already.

My heart tells me that often. I know my fertile years are dwindling down to zero. The sand in the hour glass is unbearable. I don’t want to be intimate with just anyone and end up pregnant. That is not how I want my life to be. I have more integrity now than I did when I was young.

My zone manager wanted me to zone our other department. It is a place of quiet contemplation for me. A co-worker wanted to go with me. I almost told her that I’d like to be by myself. Oh well. I do enjoy teamwork, sometimes I like the quiet contemplation that comes with the other department.

I wonder how I will be able to handle this heartbreak while at work. I’m not going to just quit. I need the job. I have three more months until I can transfer. Logic escapes me as to why I fell so hard for Thomas? I never fell for anyone else like this. I’ve had crushes, this is beyond my scope of logic. I’ve had panic attacks based on this crush or “falling in love” or whatever it is.

All I want to do is erase these last three months. Start over from scratch. I want to cry and scream and be mean. I can’t be a mean bitch like I want to be right now. I want to cover up everything. I want to scream and hit something, tear things up.

I am not sure what will happen at work today. I guess I need to bear the heartache. Hopefully I  can avoid him and my tears.

Positive Things

I worked Wednesday from 7 to 4. I was sent to another department for the day. My department manager and zone manager were talking about me staying in one department for 20 hours and the other department for 20 hours a week. It should give me about 40 hours a week. I was hired for one main department. Even though there is an additional department that is part of my area. It is fine for me to balance between the two departments. I would love to have more hours every week. Although a pay raise would be nice.

It would seem  that my zone manager is prepping me to manage myself in the other department. It is cool with me. I enjoy being a part of a team. There are times when I want to be independent and work by myself. I feel that I can get a lot of tasks done when I am independent. I like to balance it out.

I do see issues ahead.

First, I want to go back to USC-Lancaster to begin courses to finish my bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice. I would like to add Psychology as well. Working full time may pose a time management issue with classes. I might have to work on Sunday afternoons. I feel that I can do it as long as USC and y employer can work with me.

Second, I worry about sales in my main department. A few people slack off a lot. Customers are our main priority. If we can't provide excellent customer service, sales will plummet. Our satisfaction rating will fall as well.  There are two associates that seem to be all-time slackers. One has an attitude problem. There other, well, he seems to forget he has to work, not run his mouth and float around.

Third, it's my crush on Thomas. It's not a issue to me. It might pose one to others if it got out bad. I talked to Thomas briefly Tuesday night. I was in the office with Latoya, Quisha, and Jarman. Thomas came in. I told him we were having a pow-wow. He said something and I said that they should listen to him. Thomas said to take care of me and that I was a trip. Damn straight. He's my sweetheart! All hands off my buddy!

Lastly, one minor issue at best. I hate mornings! I'm a late night owl! Owls are a majestic bird! Beautiful!

HEARTBREAK, OTHER ITEMS

I can see that I may have set myself up for a heart break. Thomas was working Sunday. I am off Sundays.  I stopped by to see my department manager about adding a job code so I can get more hours. He recommended I talk to the managers who oversee the front end. I think Thomas was in a bad mood. I swear he had a small goatee under his lip. I spoke to Miss Barbara yesterday and she said it wasn’t his twin because his twin does not do that kind of work. I don’t know. It all threw me off a bit.

Sometimes when he is in a bad mood, it hurts my heart. I feel him emotionally. I feel that I may have set myself up to break my own heart. I allowed myself to become emotional over Thomas. I have a hard time handling these new emotional changes. I don’t understand them yet. Maybe I never will. I don’t like being on an emotional roller coaster at all. I’ve never felt so overthrown by emotion over a guy before. It is scary and unknown. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable; I want to get to know him and find out if we can work. I will do what it takes even if I have to find another job.

Mom had a rough weekend. She had three days off that were wrecked by a severe toothache. She went to the dentist yesterday to have it extracted. I left my keys in her car on Sunday. I was looking for a shirt she thought was in the car. Of course I did not realize I didn’t have keys until 30 minutes before I was scheduled to go to work. Mom had to turn around from work to give me keys. I was over an hour late for work. Shitty Monday.

I was in another department all day. I go back to my department and find 2 buggies of stuff that wasn’t worked. I get frustrated because there was an item that needed to be locked up that was sitting out for someone to steal. Luckily one of the third shift personnel offered to put up the items in my department. The buggy I had full of stuff I could not finish because my shift was up. I wonder what will happen today because I wasn’t able to do everything I needed to do. Oh, I will be speaking my mind about the buggies full of items that were supposed to be worked and weren’t!

Missing my eye candy (Thomas)

I do not want to make people uncomfortable. I have never felt like this towards a guy before. I hope that I do not make him (Thomas) uncomfortable. I don't want to do that.


I have a hard time trusting people. I have been burned and stabbed in the back by people who I allowed into my heart and soul only to f**k me over. Royally.

I have told one person about my "eye candy" at work. I have this fear, whether rational or irrational, that everything will blow up in my face and my heart will be crushed. This heart fluttering and anxiety makes me wanna cry. It scares me a little bit.

He has been on vacation since last Tuesday. He was at work, so I heard, on Monday. Yeah, I was off!!! He has not been back. I'm off today (Thursday). Not sure if he is at work today. Frustrating.

What am I gonna do?? I'm just at my wits end right now.