Racism and Peace

In this country, how can we resolve the issue of racism? In simple terms: we cannot eliminate it. Why? Racism, prejudice, and bigotry will always be the darkness looming below the surface of humanity.

Just in the past month, one cop shooting a black man is one too many. As a preschool teacher who is also a bus monitor, I was floored back to reality when a child spoke of cops killing people (on the bus). Why would you expose your child to this injustice and hatred? As a 4-year-old, I knew he was smart enough to make the statement; yet, unable to think through the structural logic of his statement. It is not just a statement. It is an intricate web of social, moral, and racial inequities of our society.

It scare me as well. What will this child do if confronted by law enforcement? I cannot control the future nor can I predict it. I do not know what is in store for our future. I hope that by educating that we can overcome this looming darkness.

I believe we were all made the same on the inside by God. The unique part of us is our personality and skin. How boring would it be if we were all the same? I have 18 children in my classroom. There are about 22 children on my school bus. 40 children I encounter every day. One child can change the course of life in any given way.

Any person who engages in racism or bigotry needs to find some mountain town to live in away from our communities. Leave it at home. Our communities need to be rebuilt by equities by all, not just some.

Violence does not beget violence. It is hard to see past the piece of the puzzle in front of us. Can anyone see that the violence aggravates the broken pieces of humanity? The pieces have to be put together.

We first have to believe. In ourselves and each other. We can live in peace. It is possible. We can live in peace with respect if nothing else. Life is too short to lose people by violence.

We are so artificial.

Taxes and other sorts

I filed my taxes. Woop!

I had bought a van. It needed major brake work. $500. Shit.

This is April and very slow!

Head Start has half of its classes as extended and the other half as standard. My classroom is extended. The standard gets out May 2nd. We get out June 3rd.

Word on the street is that we are moving to a new building next school year. Awesome. We have to pack our classroom up for the move before our school year ends.

Great, extra work.

New Ally

Last week I realize that I have a new ally in the fight with depression and anxiety. It is an unexpected friend that I thought would never understand my plight. Out of respect for this person, I will not reveal who they are.  I will say welcome and thank you for sharing your personal thoughts with me.

I will never gossip about anything. The only thing I will do is get you or someone help if they need it. Only if you are homicidal or suicidal or even have intent.

There is a stigma that will always follow us no matter what we do or where we go. We just don’t tell parts of ourselves. It is something we carry around privately from fear. It is the darkness in light.

 It is in fear of what people may think. People may think we are violent. Not true for the majority of us. There is only a small handful of people that are violent who have mental illness. People often do not know what to say. We are discriminated against. The media has polluted people’s thoughts about mental illness. That is the source of the violence, not the mentally ill.

Know this: we are not below any normally healthy person. We are not violent. We eat, breathe, and bleed like everyone else.

If we can’t put down our fears and lose the misperceptions of mental illness, we will never be able to overcome it. Never. It is in the same pot as racism and prejudice.

We can’t “get over it” nor should we hear it. Try telling a cancer patient or other physically ill to “get over it” and see what happens! You get over your misconceptions about mental illness.

That is all.

New Job

It has been a good while since I've posted. . Quite a few things have gone on since I posted last.

I work for Wal-Mart. I did two phone interviews for the new Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market that is opening up close to the one I work at. I jumped into a position that I did not ask questions about.

I was offered a position in the accounting office. I did not ask questions. It's a "shoot first and ask questions later" scenerio. Come to find out, there are a few  things that I don't like. The hours are from 5:00 AM to 2:00 PM. The supposed pay raise is only a nickel. A nickel, really!?!?!

I mean, everything has been so disorganized from the get-go. I have no schedule. I mean, I show up when the f*ck I feel up to it. Not! I just hate not clocking in and not having a schedule! What if something happens? Yeah, Wal-Mart will be saying "f**k you" if something happened.

Anyway, I have been training at my store for a month now. My store was closed Christmas! 364 days a year folks. Yep. That's the new era of stores. The new store is supposed to be 24 hours. Woo!

Anyway, I will be going to the new store in a week or two. All this has lead to a lot of personal issues. More on that in a different post.

Pay it forward throughout the year

Mom and I have Christmas all through the year. We buy ourselves stuff. We buy each other stuff. Not big things. It is just the two of us and our cats. This year we barely decorated. It was a hard Christmas for mom. We are the few family we have left.

I believe that we all should pay it forward. 

Donate your time to those that are in need. Go visit the elderly. Volunteer for the Humane Society. Reduce your clutter and take it to shelters. Everyone can use a blanket or a few clothes. Maybe toys that your kids don't play with anymore.  

The greatest rewards are those that bring joy, peace, and love to others. It isn't just the money that can help others, it is our time and care that mean the most. It leaves a lasting impression.

I also believe that we need to help others. I have seen the smiles and gratitude in the positive things we do for other people. 

Pay it forward people! You will become a better person for it!

New Year 2011

Well, I have to say I have come through another tough year. It has been a real shit storm. I am blessed to have many things in life, especially the basics (house, family, car, food, etc). there is still snow on the ground from Sunday's winter storm. There is an old tale of snow that is still on the ground after three days, it is waiting for more of it!

Spring semester at USC-Lancaster started this week. Due to the snow, I missed all of my classes. I have logged on the the college website for students' classes and found an assignment waiting for me. aaarrrggghhhh! It is fine. It gives me something to read before getting to bed.

I have a few resolutions. First, get a job. Second, get healthy. Third, clean the house - get rid of junk. Finally, sell the house. My mother and I have promised each other that we will get a small dog after the both ofus get jobs. It has been so brutal with the job hunt!

Well, the new year will bring a new me. I just need to color my hair and pierce my ears! :)