Holiday madness!

The holidays have gotten quite bizarre over the last few decades. I'd say the last twenty years at least! One radio station is playing Christmas music already! Thanksgiving is not quite here even! Wow! I see Christmas decorations out, music playing, and the looney tunes have come out. Any other time of year, it is a safe place to live. As the holidays approach, people seem to go off their crazy pills and go completely bizarre! It is a constant fight to get anywhere!

I do not shop for anyone anymore. I send my holiday cards out and my merry wishes for a great new year! There are no children in the house to shop for. All I want to do is get my necessary shopping done. I do not want any extras, no fights, and definitely not a night in jail because a looney tune decided to get hostile! This is what the holidays have come to: COMMERCIALISM! It is all about the buying, not the pure joy of the season.

I am old enough to remember the days when stores weren't open on Sundays. We ate at home most of the time. There may have been a few home town restaraunts open to get a low-cost Sunday dinner. We went to church on Sundays. You can shop at Wal-Mart 24 hours a day any day of the week. There are extended hours everywhere, black fridays after Thanksgiving, and high gas prices which are ridiculous!

I am so tired of dealing with all the bizarre craziness of the holiday season! I have wondered if there is a place that this madness did not exist. If there is, please let me know. I'd love to spend my holidays there instead of this bizarre world that is called "the holidays" - is it just me?

I am truly wishing upon a star that I can survive the madness.

Down in a Funk (FEAR)

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I am close to starting a new semester at a new four-year university. Yet, I am saddened. It seemed to have hit me over the last couple of days which it typical for me sometimes.
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My mother just started a new job. She has arthritis in her left leg. She needs surgery for a torn meniscus which is not going to happen due to limited financial means. She is able to work even with a limited use of her knee.
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I have had a lot of anxiety over my oldest cat. It came out of the blue. He started meowing when we got home yesterday evening. There was a stray cat outside which I think our cat knew of! Cats can sense and smell other cats around.
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I am overwhelmed with a sudden sadness that may stem from my ongoing depression. Life is too damn hard sometimes. I just want to crawl into bed and wait till life gets better. I know it is unreasonable to think like that. I feel like crying, everything points to being in a depressed mood.
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I am not talking about some fly-by-night blues that is common among happy people. I never used to like bubbly people - those who are always joyful and have some kinda drug-high that makes you want to vomit.
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I have always been the one who walked alone, never really social. I was the one who was on the edge between happiness and sadness. High School was more of a mundane experience, I am smart, I just can't seem to find my happy place anymore. I used to have it, now it has flown away! I am in a total creative block from my former self.
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I fear the risk of loving another because I do not want them to go away. My anxiety is a real concern in this area because I want to have friends and find true happiness. I fear losing my unique style and creative personality. As I get older, I get more anxious! I do not want to be alone and unhappy. I want to travel, and do a lot of things.
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Right now, I am in a funk. I feel a bit of claustrophobia because I can't seem to get my life back on track. Oh well, I just have to let this ride out and go with the flow.

Illegals in America!

Either you are here legally or you're not! I am referring to all those people who came into this country without proper and legal documents!

Arizona created an illegal alien law. I appraise Arizona. It should have happened a long time ago! Other states need to follow suit in that action plan.

The illegal aliens are taking our jobs! They have babies in here just to be considered "American"! We don't want your poor or your hungry anymore!!! We have many honest Americans here that need work. Businesses are not helping by hiring illegals for work.

What are people supposed to do when illegals come here to have babies and steal our jobs? People need to come here legally or not at all! It is black and white! Simply stated!

Send all illegals back home with their children! Americans need jobs without the illegals slowing things down. It should not matter if their children were born here. They are here illegally, so are their children!

I put forth a movement for all honest Americans (legal Americans) to take our country back!

Blood Donations

This weekend, I tried to donate blood. Due to April's rabid fox attack and the rabies shots, I have to wait a year from the date of my last shot to donate.

Blood donations are critically low in the summer. I donate blood to help people in need. I do not expect anything but a good feeling afterwards. It is important to me to donate. I just wish things would have gone a bit differently.

I wish upon a Rainbow!

I wish upon this rainbow . . . . . . .

To add more joy to my life. Allow all my negative emotins to slip away in time and space, never to return again! To find hope, a place free of pain and sorrow within my heart and soul!

I wish good karma to others, happiness and good health, to love, to risk, to reap the rewards and consequences of life that awaits us!

I wish upon this beautiful site, beauty that is too close but so far away. I am in awe of what this good luck charm may bring. My wish to others for their needs be fulfilled, wishes be granted.

Sunsets

Sunsets are beautiful and wonderous! We have to stop and admire the beauty in nature. The world was not created for this much industrialization! We are losing out in the end. What if there were no sun?

Ocean: Pure Beauty and Joy!

I was at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina this past weekend. It is the time of year where people flock to the beach. I walked along the sand and water. I tuned out the noise of the crowd. I scavenged for seashells as a momento to this moment. All I could hear was the sound of the ocean waves. My mind blocked out the blistering noise of humanity only to hear the pure neauty of the ocean. The sound of waves and the wind blowing was pure joy to my heart and soul, as well as my ears! I knew I could not stay long, feeling the sorrow of abandonment in my heart. I felt the tears flow from my eyes as the distance become farther and farther. All my negative emotions drifted away as the waves engulfed my feet. I can not find the words to express how much freedom this moment gave me. I had no negative emotions: worry, frustration, fear, sorrow, abandonment, and depression. I felt a sigh of relief, freedom. The world can rear its ugly head from time to time. The beauty lies within the fleeting moments of freedom and respect. Just exactly how I felt in those few minutes I was at the beach.

I can only hope that I have more moments of peace and freedom to with hold!