Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Tragic Anxiety, A moment of happiness



Today has been rough for me. Too much anxiety and wanting to cry most of the day.  My eye candy, Thomas, apparently was having a tough day as well.
 
 The new guy, Mike, needed a Playstation 4 for a customer. I told him this would be a teachable moment. I asked Thomas if he had the key to the locked area of our stock room. He opened it up. I was explaining to  Mike that we bin and pick to maintain our inventory control. Thomas told me good job as he added what I had missed. Damn, so yummy! Still crushing over him, he made it even better today! Thank you! 


Anyway, Dee had me work on adding DVDs to the new fixture. I was fine until I finished it. I was lost without too much to do. Dee just rubs me the wrong way. I am at wits end. The whole department is being remodeled and re adjusted. This means that I am at a loss as to where everything is at. My OCD is in overdrive because everything has been uprooted. My routine and consistency has to be changed.



I told Angela I had OCD, Panic Disorder, and Agoraphobia. I felt better after I spilled it out to someone. I am beginning to get claustrophobia. Maybe it’s everyone who is working at the same time that is making my agoraphobia worse. I have been set in my own way working in the department. Everything has turned my insides outward!



I want so bad to tell my managers that I have issues. I am so scared that I will be rejected, look down on, and be too pitiful for work. I am screwed! At least I can hang on to what little things that have made me happy.

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