At a crossroad

I still have a crush on Thomas.  My anxiety has calmed downed, the tidal waves have ebbed. I try to make myself talk to him to feel a bit more comfortable around him. Saturday I went to him to see if he could unlock the family bathroom in the back of the store. He did, it was a request from a customer. The door was sticking and hard to open.

I want so much to have a friendship with him, at least, if nothing else. He is so damn fine! He seems like a down-to-earth traditional kind of guy. I am so ready to settle down, no wild shit for me anymore. I still have a badass streak that is too much a part of me to let go. It is only a small part of me; it will never affect me to go off the deep end.

I’m such a tender-hearted, raw, passionate, emotional, extremely shy, and intelligent person. I’ve never felt like this toward a guy. I need feedback as to what is going on.

 I’m so self-conscious about my weight. I have made strides in changing my eating habits and have lost a few pounds. I need to join a gym. Looking forward to it when I get paid. Hopefully I can lose70 pounds by September. I don’t want to be too skinny. Definitely want to keep some meat on my bones.

A new project is coming to fruition. My poetry will be typed up on a flash drive for safe keeping. I hope to have it published, book bound by the end of the year.  I have been way past slacking on writing poetry. I just have not been in the mood to do it. I barely write in my journal anymore. No title just yet.