Therapeutic Dose (Journaling)

As a youngster, I always used writing as a way to express myself. I believe that no one wants to hear me. As a strong woman and a malevolent child, I've always wanted to be heard.

No one wants to hear about being on the right path or doing the right thing. As I type this blog, feelings of silence are deafening. Words fall on deaf ears. 

It is all about the politics. We live in a "me me me" society. The bottom line is how can a person or a thing benefit me and my agenda. This is so true where I work. It is all about the perception of righteousness indignation and a personal agenda.

One strength I have is the spoken word. I speak louder with the written word than any oration I can give. My written word is my spoken word. I use the written word to be heard even if it is just my own private words. 

Journaling is very therapeutic. As I write the words on paper, the obsessive thoughts leave my mind. Some thoughts linger only to be a reminder of more thoughts that need to be said. Writing is very cathartic. I could write pages and pages if my hand did not hurt. 

Journaling is expressive, creative, and an emotional release. I have an idea for an open letter to management that I'd like to post one day. I will definitely write up thoughts and tighten it up a bit.

The ideas are already swirling in my head. I recommend keeping a journal. It does not have to be fancy. It can be a notebook that students use for class. 

2020 Wild Ride

It has been another year come and gone.

I have been working for a school district driving a school bus. Two years of politics and bull crap. That is another post.

I came and went at Head Start.  I began my journey of school buses there. I bounced.

2020 has seen its fair share of crap. We have a demented president. A viral pandemic. Economic disaster. Schools are up in the air about re opening to virtual learning or in class instruction or both. That leaves us drivers in turmoil.

I've had a rough year personally. Anxious. Scared. Lonely. Contemplation. Questions. Sickness.   

Mom had been sick with dehydration and severe diarrhea. Finally the doctor diagnosed her with collageanous ulcerative colitis. She is on medication that cost roughly $1200 a month. I was so off balance it affected my work and my mind.

I got suspended from work. I was on paid suspension for three weeks as I was out on leave dealing with a sick parent. 

I finally had the courage to speak up about my anxiety. My supervisor blew me off like a it was nothing. I will blog on that whole mess later. 

I have been trying to keep a rock solid mentality even through the worst of times. 

As of now, I am back on blogging. Steady pace. I need this.

Feline New Beginnings

My anxiety and sadness still linger from losing my Precious Siamese cat last week. I've been so worried about Slipknot being alone. I know the fear is mostly irrational. I worry that he will grieve too much and not like being alone. I want Slipknot's last several years to be loving and happy. He is such a loving cat. I want him to have a companion that will cuddle with him.

Mom and I went to the Charlotte Humane Society Saturday. We adopted a female multicolored Tabby named Esther. She is 6 years old. She had been at the shelter for two months. Her owner surrendered her and another cat. Mom and I picked her. She is getting used to being in her new home. She still hides. Last night she slept with mom on her bed most of the night. I tried to get Slipknot to sleep with me, he would not. He has been such a gentleman with Esther. Mom and I think we need to adopt a kitten for Slipknot and allow Esther to be her own self. Esther seems a lot like Buster in that she is not all over you cuddly and only wants enough to satisfy her. She looks similar to Tiger with her patterned coat and weight.

She is sweet. I know it will take a while for her to adjust. It's not going to happen over night or even a few days. She hisses at Slipknot, not an aggressive hiss, maybe fear and new surroundings. She is not a replacement, she is a new fur baby to our family.

I ask God to help us, help our fur babies adjust, and allow many loving years with both cats. I pray that Esther gets long with Slipknot and can cuddle with him. A kitten would do Slipknot good if she decides she does not want to ever cuddle with him. It will be ok.