Winter Smartass

This year has been a bit better than the last few. mom found a job, I still haven't yet.

Mom feels as though she may get fired. Her boss, Regina, is such a bitch. She does not know what she is doing as an office manager. She doesn't know the difference between a debit and a credit. Most of the work is calculated for her which makes it tougher for her if something is wrong. Her friend, Debbie, is a raging bitch. She is rude to the customers and curses in public. The owners of the business have no clue or too stupid to see clearly about these two buddy bitches. Well, they will get smite'd and they'll be put in their place. Somebody will tell them off. I'll be there as a laughing hyena! Politics do not work in the office - heed my warning. What you may do unto others will certainly be done unto you.

I wish I lived in New York or Switzerland. Somewhere else other than here. I am a bit depressed about the whole situation - mostly anger and helplessness. I feel stuck in a place where there is no way out and I keep falling. I slip once I feel safe. If I feel that things are going good, life will soon turn to shit. Something will happen to make life darker.

I daydream to aleviate the reality of the dismal feelings. I always wake up knowing how helpless I feel to make things better. I want to be lifted out of this and be placed in a better situation. The reality of it is that won't happen! I know it won't. Life is just not that equal and pleasant. I still want to daydream, to know that there is at least something that I can wish for.

Winter is quite fitting for the moods I've been in lately. I just can't seem to be positive and lift up other's spirits. How can I help others when I can't even help myself? I feel like I have to act like a dumbass just to get a job. Apparently, people don't want to hire smart educated people. Why? Maybe they feel like they will get booted out. Well, maybe you deserve it asshole! If you can't do the job, you need to find another one! Give people a 'effin chance!

My mom had knee surgery last month. She is having a sleep study done this month. The doctor's office we are going to is so damn full of immigrants, that we can't get a decent doctor. Overworked? An all too common HELL YES! I mean, I had blood work done in October. It's December and I can't get a person to answer the damn phone. I'd be worse off if I was dying! Maybe I am, they just haven't gotten around to telling me yet! Shit.

Life is just messed up, folks. Not worth dying over it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't scenerio I guess. Now I need money to change careers - which I have none. I can't even finish my bachelor's degree!

America's unemployed.