For many years of dark solitude, I have been discouraged by christianity. By my own ignorance and blatant stupidity. My mom and I have rejoined the christian community this year. On a very deep intellectual level, I want to understand the bible, I never read it. I slightly know Psalms 25. If I understand the bible, I am can make an arguement on my behalf. I am a dark entity even as I walk into church every Sunday morning. I never lost my faith in God. The church has been a disgrace and a dishonor to an honest faith of the people. This is where my disdain lies. Many elders and preachers and the like have corrupted young children within the corporate worship of church. Religion is a personal walk with Jesus Christ as an individual, not as a cult or fascist government.
My dark solitude seems to be part of the core of my personality. I feel as though I can balance the spectrum once I have a greater understanding of christianity. We will see as the months roll on regarding this issue.
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