I think that this sums up a lot of shit in life.

Precious (the cat)

This is Precious. He is the oldest of the four cats. He picks on Buster too much. He purr talks. He will meow and purr at the same time! It is so adorable. He thinks he is the alpha cat in the house. Oh well, I let him think it! He is spoiled!

Buster (the cat)

This is Buster. He weighs about 20 pounds. He sheds a lot and has a lot of furballs! My grandmother wanted to keep him when we found him on our trip to Georgia. She named him. He has a cat attitude which I call a cattitude! He is such a diva.

Slipknot (the cat)

This is Slipknot. He is one of my cats. I named him after the metal band Slipknot. I still like the band. Not as much. But I still love my slippy. He has a foot fetish and shoe fetish! He steals all the toys in the house. He loves tuna and treats.

Who I am (c) 2008

I am an individual.
A distinction from the rest.
I am a woman, a friend, a student, a sister.
I can be a lover, a mother, a wife, a heart.
I live a quiet existence,
On the edge of living - alone and cold.
I watch, learn, experience, observe
Life as it changes seasons.
Life is the instructor, I am the student.
Rain falls into darkness - me.
Pushing forward through my tears
Of sorrow and joy - alone I am.
I walk through the rain for you
Always hoping to find my rainbow.
Something called life and living.
A journey I must take -
Alone with sorrow and pain.
I need to understand why I am here.
I am a lifelong learner - eternally.
No matter what the world weather may bring.
I live by my emotions and my heart.
This quiet existence, will anyone know or hear me?
Will anyone love me? Hold me? Touch me?
I believe through my intelleigence.
The sets me from the rest,
My emotions make me human, alone.
Emotions -
I feel, I abandon, I cherish, I hate.
My horizons expand from dusk till dawn.
I listen, I learn, I mature, I grow.
The more enlightened I am, the lonelier I am.
Through the rain, I pray my rainbow appears.
To share and love what has become of me -
In the end, I will know a purpose -
My purpose - Who I am!

I wrote this for a college class in 2008. I shared it with a man I admire and wish to know. He appreciated my thoughts. It seems the people I think are so close to me in sorrow are the furtherest from me. We all tend to be alone.

Fathers

Along my journey through this existence, I discovered how much family means to me.

My father has abandoned me too many times over the years. I will still love him and respect him for being my father. I will not bow down to him. As a child, I watched him drink and use drugs just to live. He hurt my mom too much and stayed out too much. I remember as a child sitting on the porch steps waiting for him to come home. I was a child, I did not understand like I do now. I wish I knew then what I know now. I was not empowered as a child. I am as an adult. Most of my family have passed on. I feel cheated out of recognition from my father and his father (my grand father). I can no longer sit here and feel emotional toward this. Communication works for both parties, there is no reason for either of us not to check up on each other. I will not go into the details, but I feel alone in this world as an emotionally empowered person. Love and hate does hurt my soul.

In a world not created equal

The earth as it stands. . . . . .

Humans have not found a habitable planet in this new century. Yet, as I sit here writing this, we put ourselves on display for no one. Well, maybe ourselves. All the pictures you see of earth taken from space is beautiful to say the least. We are destroying our planet for a handful of egos.

We have taken on visual cues of the world despite having use of many senses . . . besides sight. Senses can be taken away at a moment's notice. Do most humans care? Hell no!

We have two sides to life.
There are many, here are a few samples for your reading!
Light <------> Darkness
Evil <-------> Good
Men <------> Women
Black <-----> White (magic)

Anyway, I am a big beautiful woman, that is the least I have been called other than a mean bitch. Hey, it is the world we live in, right? RIGHT! People ASSUME that I have problems because of my weight. I don't really other than laziness and other external stress. Have you no shame people? The world does not revolve around Hollywood, ok? I feel as if I am losing a battle of being a great person in an ignorant world.

I am not going to make this all about me. But I feel it is representing the many women out there trying to be unique women without having the "idealistic christian housewife" syndrome. I am not sexist, I have feelings to share.

The world goes around, I hope that when I am ashes, things can be a bit brighter for females. I will quit on the feminism now! HA!HA!