It has been rainy all day today. I will have a hard time this winter as I have become slightly intolerable to the cold.
I spent about 3 hours at the doctor's office this morning as a walk-in. I still have not quite got my mojo back. Just tired, weak, muscular aches/pains, and general feeling of unwell. Among other symptoms.
I have a theory. I feel it is my thyroid. All my symptoms coincide with a slow thyroid. The doctor said it could be a vitamin D deficiency. I gave some blood for a few general tests. Most of the tests will be for my thyroid, vitamin D deficiency, diabetes, and sodium/potassium ratio. There is about 7 tests in all. If they all come back negative, then the doctor will do more specialized tests.
I've spent about three months eating healthier and exercising. The scale showed a 5 pound loss. I'm like, what the hell? I've busted my ass at the gym. I've been retraining my taste buds for healthier foods. Eliminating at least 60% of the crap I put in my body. I've put healthier foods in my body. I know it takes time to completely get rid of all the bad crap that I would normally eat.
I am totally disappointed. I pigged out today. I want to scream and cry. I drink at least a quart of water a day. Sometimes 2 or 3 quarts of water. Shit. There is something wrong. No damn doubt. I'm serious as a damn heart attack about getting better and nothing has budged.
I've just been completely crapped out. If my thyroid test comes back normal, I will be shocked as hell!
Oh, did I mention I have tendonitis in my right elbow and wrist?!?!?! Damnit!
Monday, November 17, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
Career Change . . . Possibilities
At my job, we have the choice of opening our career preferences to different areas and advancements. Mine are wide open except for the vision center and pharmacy.
In the past two weeks I've done two different phone interviews for two different positions. One is part time. The other is full time.
The first phone interview I did was for Personnel Coordinator/Support Manager. When I'm not in the personnel office, I am out on the sales floor as a support manager for management and staff. This is full time.
The second phone interview was for accounting. It is part time. I believe I will be out on the floor when I am not in the accounting office.
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I feel sorrow and anxiety. I know doors have been opened for me. I am scared to walk through them. I have gotten myself into a groove at work. My OCD has allowed me to get into the groove and some semblance of a set pace.
If I am offered either of these jobs, I will be leaving Mr. Thomas and Mrs. Barbara. My two most favorite people! It almost makes me want to cry I will miss them so much. They are the reason I go to work! Some days are bad and they make it better.
I don't want to do myself a disservice. I have been having anxiety attacks over this whole mess. I just need to think about it and go over everything!
In the past two weeks I've done two different phone interviews for two different positions. One is part time. The other is full time.
The first phone interview I did was for Personnel Coordinator/Support Manager. When I'm not in the personnel office, I am out on the sales floor as a support manager for management and staff. This is full time.
The second phone interview was for accounting. It is part time. I believe I will be out on the floor when I am not in the accounting office.
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I feel sorrow and anxiety. I know doors have been opened for me. I am scared to walk through them. I have gotten myself into a groove at work. My OCD has allowed me to get into the groove and some semblance of a set pace.
If I am offered either of these jobs, I will be leaving Mr. Thomas and Mrs. Barbara. My two most favorite people! It almost makes me want to cry I will miss them so much. They are the reason I go to work! Some days are bad and they make it better.
I don't want to do myself a disservice. I have been having anxiety attacks over this whole mess. I just need to think about it and go over everything!
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Feeling under the weather
It has been almost a month since I posted. A lot and a little has been happening.
I've been working 35 to 40 hours a week. I've also been going to the gym to try to lose weight. I have not been to the gym in over a week. I've lost my motivation. I'm trying to get it back.
Lately, I've been feeling a bit under the weather. A lot of muscular aches, tiredness, sleepiness (lack of sleep), fatigue, and lack of memory - brain usage. It has eased up this week a bit.
There is still a lot of drama at work. All the drama is very draining. I feel drained when I'm at work. It's tiring dealing with so much shit and no way to relieve the stress. Thomas has been stretched every which way at work, too. He and I seem to be one of the few people who actually work!
There are days when I just want to act stupid and not know how to do anything. Basically, I want to have a day where I can slack off like others do. It bothers me when I do that. That is the worst part. I added a cashier shift. For 4 hours I stood at a register and rang up customer's items. That, to me, is slacking. I am NOT saying cashiers slack off in any way. It is for me personally. Just to have a day where there is no drama and I am not running from here to there all day long.
I'm trying to get my mojo back. I must make a doctor's appointment to see what is happening to me. Maybe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia? Not sure. I will update as I go along.
I've been working 35 to 40 hours a week. I've also been going to the gym to try to lose weight. I have not been to the gym in over a week. I've lost my motivation. I'm trying to get it back.
Lately, I've been feeling a bit under the weather. A lot of muscular aches, tiredness, sleepiness (lack of sleep), fatigue, and lack of memory - brain usage. It has eased up this week a bit.
There is still a lot of drama at work. All the drama is very draining. I feel drained when I'm at work. It's tiring dealing with so much shit and no way to relieve the stress. Thomas has been stretched every which way at work, too. He and I seem to be one of the few people who actually work!
There are days when I just want to act stupid and not know how to do anything. Basically, I want to have a day where I can slack off like others do. It bothers me when I do that. That is the worst part. I added a cashier shift. For 4 hours I stood at a register and rang up customer's items. That, to me, is slacking. I am NOT saying cashiers slack off in any way. It is for me personally. Just to have a day where there is no drama and I am not running from here to there all day long.
I'm trying to get my mojo back. I must make a doctor's appointment to see what is happening to me. Maybe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia? Not sure. I will update as I go along.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Away and Afar
It's been a while, I know. It is never easy being an adult. Adulthood sucks.
I still have a crush on Thomas. We has become social at work. Yay! Ms Barbara and I talk a lot now. I've joined a gym. Really started working out trying to lose 70 pounds. I'd like to lose it in a hurry. I need to tan some.
There is a lot of drama at work.
Sarah has such a negative attitude lately. She takes extended lunches, leaves early, and takes more breaks than allowed. Her attitude has gone down the toilet. I told her that she will get herself fired. She told me she doesn't really give a shit. She states that she is tired of the way Wally World treats her. She left Monday after only been at work for a little over an hour. She claims she has a stomach virus. Its her stomach, it's her blood pressure, or its hives. It is some excuse to leave or not be on the sales floor. One person from the department next to mine says that he is such "a f**king b**ch" and that she "hates her guts". Another person states that she has a nasty attitude.
Then there is Quincy. He chases ass all the time. He constantly leaves the department to go talk to girls. He undermines others in the department. He leaves projects unfinished. He does not complete the normal tasks assigned at all. He has a foul mouth and talks bad about others. I talked to our store manager about an incident involving Quincy over a week ago. We worked the late shift one evening together. I was doing layaways. He was out on the sales floor helping customers and ringing up purchases. At least I hope he was. Anyway. He comes back to tell me that I have customers waiting at he register. According to one customer, he walked off in the middle of the transaction. I apologize to the customer. I voided out the items and rescanned them to for the customer. I asked if the customer would wait and allow me to help the other customers so I can focus on activating his Family Mobile Cell service. He left. Quincy said he would label and put up my layaways. He left half my layaways out, some unlabeled.
I told the store manager about the situation and he said he would follow up. He has yet to follow up with me. Not sure if he will. I worked with Quincy for about two hours today. I was pulling recalls off the sales floor. Not much interaction. this is the first time in over a week that I have worked with him.
I'm just tired of the bullshit and lack of hours. I put my transfer in to three other stores. As of yet I have not heard back. Just so tired. This week I is a full forty hours. Surprise! Probably won't happen again until it gets closer to Thanksgiving. Sarah and Quincy are working tonight. I think Latoya is working in layaway. Oh boy! Qua, our department manager, made a statement to the effect of "there is no one I trust to bin after you and Angela leave". Yep. Oh well.
There have been days when I just do not feel that my heart is in it to go to work. I called out last week. I aggravated old ankle sprains. I had 22 hours. I can't survive off of the pay I make. I just wish I could get a pay raise or move into a position where I make a bit more money.
I still have a crush on Thomas. We has become social at work. Yay! Ms Barbara and I talk a lot now. I've joined a gym. Really started working out trying to lose 70 pounds. I'd like to lose it in a hurry. I need to tan some.
There is a lot of drama at work.
Sarah has such a negative attitude lately. She takes extended lunches, leaves early, and takes more breaks than allowed. Her attitude has gone down the toilet. I told her that she will get herself fired. She told me she doesn't really give a shit. She states that she is tired of the way Wally World treats her. She left Monday after only been at work for a little over an hour. She claims she has a stomach virus. Its her stomach, it's her blood pressure, or its hives. It is some excuse to leave or not be on the sales floor. One person from the department next to mine says that he is such "a f**king b**ch" and that she "hates her guts". Another person states that she has a nasty attitude.
Then there is Quincy. He chases ass all the time. He constantly leaves the department to go talk to girls. He undermines others in the department. He leaves projects unfinished. He does not complete the normal tasks assigned at all. He has a foul mouth and talks bad about others. I talked to our store manager about an incident involving Quincy over a week ago. We worked the late shift one evening together. I was doing layaways. He was out on the sales floor helping customers and ringing up purchases. At least I hope he was. Anyway. He comes back to tell me that I have customers waiting at he register. According to one customer, he walked off in the middle of the transaction. I apologize to the customer. I voided out the items and rescanned them to for the customer. I asked if the customer would wait and allow me to help the other customers so I can focus on activating his Family Mobile Cell service. He left. Quincy said he would label and put up my layaways. He left half my layaways out, some unlabeled.
I told the store manager about the situation and he said he would follow up. He has yet to follow up with me. Not sure if he will. I worked with Quincy for about two hours today. I was pulling recalls off the sales floor. Not much interaction. this is the first time in over a week that I have worked with him.
I'm just tired of the bullshit and lack of hours. I put my transfer in to three other stores. As of yet I have not heard back. Just so tired. This week I is a full forty hours. Surprise! Probably won't happen again until it gets closer to Thanksgiving. Sarah and Quincy are working tonight. I think Latoya is working in layaway. Oh boy! Qua, our department manager, made a statement to the effect of "there is no one I trust to bin after you and Angela leave". Yep. Oh well.
There have been days when I just do not feel that my heart is in it to go to work. I called out last week. I aggravated old ankle sprains. I had 22 hours. I can't survive off of the pay I make. I just wish I could get a pay raise or move into a position where I make a bit more money.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
A while now
Been a while now since I posted something of the personal nature.
I got two buddies at work, Ms. Barbara and Mr. Thomas. Yes, the same Thomas I had a crush on. Still do, just not crazy sexy like it was. We talked a few minutes in the associate lounge yesterday evening. I enjoyed it. Casual conversation and good times. A time to wind down and smile a bit.
For the past few days it has been crazy with customers going crazy and rude. I think I am one of the few who actually give a damn to work.
There is a new manager for our department. It will be officially six months on the 29th since I was hired. This new manager will be the third since I was hired. What the hell is up with that?
I'm on the verge of joining a gym. The same gym that Thomas goes to. Oh shit. I mean oh snap. Whatever. I am at odds whether or not I want to cross paths with him at the gym. I need to lose weight. Get rid of some of the pudge I got. I will have to take it step by step to see how weird it will get, if it does.
Anyway, I am gonna sail out for now. got some stuff to do before going to work. Damn.
I got two buddies at work, Ms. Barbara and Mr. Thomas. Yes, the same Thomas I had a crush on. Still do, just not crazy sexy like it was. We talked a few minutes in the associate lounge yesterday evening. I enjoyed it. Casual conversation and good times. A time to wind down and smile a bit.
For the past few days it has been crazy with customers going crazy and rude. I think I am one of the few who actually give a damn to work.
There is a new manager for our department. It will be officially six months on the 29th since I was hired. This new manager will be the third since I was hired. What the hell is up with that?
I'm on the verge of joining a gym. The same gym that Thomas goes to. Oh shit. I mean oh snap. Whatever. I am at odds whether or not I want to cross paths with him at the gym. I need to lose weight. Get rid of some of the pudge I got. I will have to take it step by step to see how weird it will get, if it does.
Anyway, I am gonna sail out for now. got some stuff to do before going to work. Damn.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Long Time Roller Coaster
It has been a long time since I posted a blog.
My apologies.
I've been off my anxiety medication for a few weeks now. My anxiety is relatively stable. I'm surprised that I'm so calm. Although . . . here is it . . . . but, my anger and attitude are on high alert. Not to the point of rage or ever hurting anyone. I'm surprised that my attitude has changed and my anxiety is so low. Oh well. I will continue to see how it goes.
I'm taking an over-the-counter thyroid supplement I got off Ebay. It seems that it may not be working. Maybe it is. I don't know. I usually take about 5 pills a day. it is supposed to rev up my thyroid and metabolism. I am using it as a weight loss supplement. I don't really feel anything different. I guess it would help if I took it regularly.
Now on to a more talked about subject. Thomas. He is a roller coaster. I feel like he is cool with me one day and not the next. What the hell? All I want to do is chill with him, friends, whatever. He is a major source of my anxiety. Sometimes. I can't deal with this on-again off-again crap.
His son, Jared, is hot! I saw a picture of him on Facebook. Wow! Anyway. Moving on.
I worked third shift last week for three days setting the mods and stocking Halloween! It was fun. It was Ted, Melissa, and I working. We got a lot done. There were times when I felt like shit.I can't handle many days on third shift.
I got into a tiff with one of my co-workers about two weeks ago. I went looking for her to get the keys to help a customer. I could not find her. I paged her. Our manager had her paged. She got pissed and threw a hissy fit out on the sales floor in front of another co-worker and a customer. I was furious. I walked off to cool down. After I cooled off, I went to our manager and explained the situation. I asked to be moved to another department. He told me to think about it over the weekend. I did. I told him I would like to be moved to another department. It has been a week. I talked to Brandon about moving to sporting goods. He said he will talk to the store manager about opening up a position there.
There is too many people in my department and the way we are scheduled sucks. I was by myself for five hours one night. I mean, what the hell? Morale is low and team work is almost non-existent. I do not want to quit. I will be there six months at the end of September.
Life sucks.
My apologies.
I've been off my anxiety medication for a few weeks now. My anxiety is relatively stable. I'm surprised that I'm so calm. Although . . . here is it . . . . but, my anger and attitude are on high alert. Not to the point of rage or ever hurting anyone. I'm surprised that my attitude has changed and my anxiety is so low. Oh well. I will continue to see how it goes.
I'm taking an over-the-counter thyroid supplement I got off Ebay. It seems that it may not be working. Maybe it is. I don't know. I usually take about 5 pills a day. it is supposed to rev up my thyroid and metabolism. I am using it as a weight loss supplement. I don't really feel anything different. I guess it would help if I took it regularly.
Now on to a more talked about subject. Thomas. He is a roller coaster. I feel like he is cool with me one day and not the next. What the hell? All I want to do is chill with him, friends, whatever. He is a major source of my anxiety. Sometimes. I can't deal with this on-again off-again crap.
His son, Jared, is hot! I saw a picture of him on Facebook. Wow! Anyway. Moving on.
I worked third shift last week for three days setting the mods and stocking Halloween! It was fun. It was Ted, Melissa, and I working. We got a lot done. There were times when I felt like shit.I can't handle many days on third shift.
I got into a tiff with one of my co-workers about two weeks ago. I went looking for her to get the keys to help a customer. I could not find her. I paged her. Our manager had her paged. She got pissed and threw a hissy fit out on the sales floor in front of another co-worker and a customer. I was furious. I walked off to cool down. After I cooled off, I went to our manager and explained the situation. I asked to be moved to another department. He told me to think about it over the weekend. I did. I told him I would like to be moved to another department. It has been a week. I talked to Brandon about moving to sporting goods. He said he will talk to the store manager about opening up a position there.
There is too many people in my department and the way we are scheduled sucks. I was by myself for five hours one night. I mean, what the hell? Morale is low and team work is almost non-existent. I do not want to quit. I will be there six months at the end of September.
Life sucks.
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