Gun Violence

I have no utter clue as to what is going on in this world today.

It is scary as hell, folks.

What has caused the surge in massive violence across the globe? It is guns and bombs.

Massive bombings and shootings in foreign countries such as Turkey, France, Nigeria. In some cases, it would be in the name of a God or deity. God does not ask you to kill people. Your mentally ill delusions do. God does have his wrath, not like this. I want these people to get off God and just say why you're doing this: you're a racist sociopath or psychopath.  

I have seen many killings in Afghanistan and Iraq with militants and soldiers. We do not hear about many of those attacks. I'm sure we'd hear it's the "price of war" which is bullshit!

In America, people shooting cops, cops shooting civilians, soldiers shooting inside military bases, and utter bloodshed. All with guns and a mental delusion.

I know that law enforcement officers are out in the communities with targets on their backs everyday. Law enforcement never know what to expect the next time they pull someone over or serve a warrant. Law enforcement should not be killed for any reason. Law enforcement officers risk their lives every day out on the street trying to protect the communities they serve.

Law enforcement officers have a higher standard of duty. They swore an oath to protect. They know not to shoot unless they absolutely have to. Officers are NOT ABOVE THE LAW by any means. Officers should not use excessive force nor a weapon on anyone. If their lives are in danger, it may be justified, only in rare cases. It should not be an everyday thing to use a weapon or excessive force.

It is not just about gun legislation. Yes, we do need stricter laws and regulations on guns. People will find a way around them which should be no surprise. Criminals will probably find a way.

People seem to have lost common sense, ethics, and morality. It is a shame that we have to make laws to cover things that SHOULD BE common sense. D'OH! I'm no genius, I look at people and I think "DAMN, REALLY?". People are fully cocked and half dressed.

I know this country has problems, every other country does as well. Sometimes I wonder if we really are going to hell in a hand basket.

I don't have the answers. We have to find what works to help heal our nation and support others that go through this.

Feline New Beginnings

My anxiety and sadness still linger from losing my Precious Siamese cat last week. I've been so worried about Slipknot being alone. I know the fear is mostly irrational. I worry that he will grieve too much and not like being alone. I want Slipknot's last several years to be loving and happy. He is such a loving cat. I want him to have a companion that will cuddle with him.

Mom and I went to the Charlotte Humane Society Saturday. We adopted a female multicolored Tabby named Esther. She is 6 years old. She had been at the shelter for two months. Her owner surrendered her and another cat. Mom and I picked her. She is getting used to being in her new home. She still hides. Last night she slept with mom on her bed most of the night. I tried to get Slipknot to sleep with me, he would not. He has been such a gentleman with Esther. Mom and I think we need to adopt a kitten for Slipknot and allow Esther to be her own self. Esther seems a lot like Buster in that she is not all over you cuddly and only wants enough to satisfy her. She looks similar to Tiger with her patterned coat and weight.

She is sweet. I know it will take a while for her to adjust. It's not going to happen over night or even a few days. She hisses at Slipknot, not an aggressive hiss, maybe fear and new surroundings. She is not a replacement, she is a new fur baby to our family.

I ask God to help us, help our fur babies adjust, and allow many loving years with both cats. I pray that Esther gets long with Slipknot and can cuddle with him. A kitten would do Slipknot good if she decides she does not want to ever cuddle with him. It will be ok.

A year of sadness, sorrow, and changes

My inner sadness has been many a wave over the last several months. I’ve managed to tone it low. Some success and some failures have become the marsh of my land.

My journey in life has had difficult points. The hardest points sometimes have been my defining moments in who I am.  I’ve let them be the worth of me. I understand I am not the only one who struggled. I will continue to have difficulties and struggles.

Change. It is inevitable. Change is intertwined into life itself. There is no free pass. My sadness requires a constant. One of my difficulties is accepting change when it requires an emotional upheaval. As a youngster, I was able to deal with change better when I had an emotional barrier around me: anger and resentment.

I allowed the barrier to be destroyed because I wanted personal growth. I can’t put that barrier back up again. It’s been tried with constant failure. I see a lot of barriers in people. Most of which are normal emotional swings of life.

My soul wants people to be sensitive and empathic as I am. I’ve experienced forgiveness. Anger and resentment have lifted off my heart and soul. When the barrier became null, I became more emotional. Emotional experiences can be overwhelming when they haven’t been there before.

A new barrier is being built. It is invisible and unrealistic.  This dome can be easily destroyed, unlike the wall before it. I do not know where to turn to meet people.

Grief. An emotion that is definitive and broad at once. Anxiety is my point of grief. It has hit me this year. Two of my fur babies have passed away. Buster in April. Precious yesterday. Just when I think I am cried out, tears flow. Grief is hard for me to handle. I don’t deal right. Out of sight out of mind only works when I’m not at home or not thinking about it. As these words are written, anxiety and blood pressure are high.

Things just can’t be discarded. I can’t just wish for a new place to live and it happen just because grief is affront. Many times I’ve wished a dump truck to appear at my house. Throw out things we don’t need and be done with cleaning the house. I know from experience that shit don’t work. It ain’t gonna work, never!

As I move through grief, I question my life in spades. What am I doing and how am I doing it. Psychology. I get so into the psyche and not know what the hell I’m doing.

My anxious mind and all the sorrow is deafening. It drowns out the happiness. All the thoughts that repeat like a broken record. Negative thoughts like hammers to nails inside my head!

I do not want to be consumed my whole life by anxiety and sadness. Happiness seems so close to touch, only to be far away when the blinders come off. How is this going to help me? How can I be of help to others when I can’t seem to help myself? Yelling out of frustration.

As I type my final words for today, I know that Buster and Precious are with mama and their brothers, Bandit and Tiger. I feel the grief and sorrow, just not the tears right now. Fear is settling in. Scary. My pets are my rock when the sadness comes. I don’t talk to mom out of worrying that she will worry too much. Wow, what a conundrum.

Mom and I are talking about getting a playmate for Slipknot. He is the last of our fur baby family. I worry about him. I think he knew before we did about Buster and Precious.

The future is ahead. Life won’t stop for grief or sadness. Neither will we.

Elections

HOLY HELL WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY?

I have not heard a definitive agenda of either shit storm party yet. Donald Trump? Really?

HOLY SHIT. For a rare moment in my smartass history, I am stumped as to anything to say to this twilight zone election.

TWILIGHT ZONE featuring Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton.

I will have to say that I would vote for Hilary Clinton on the sole fact she has experience as a first Lady. It's the lesser of two evils.

Donald Trump is a short fuse. Personal opinions doesn't always make the best public decisions for the masses.

This is a shock. No wait. Brexit. That was a shock, too. God please bless us all. A wild ride.