As long as I have been on this earth, I still manage to feel fucked and overwhelmed. I have been having a lot of strange dreams lately, mostly of my family. I am full of fear and dread, I gain weight without trying, and I walk alone in a world full of people. I am abandoned, alone in the world. . . . .waiting. On what, I do not know really. Although I could point out so many things, but yet they are so trivial and meaningless! I wish it would snow here, at least for a little while.
The cold snags my soul without mercy in this cold weather. Next month, on the 28th, marks my grandmother's passing during the only true snow storm we had here. She will have been gone six long years as the days pass without memory. Everything fades into one another, sinking into the abyss. I line that I remember fondly - there are things that go bump in the night, we are the ones that bump back. I think I pretty much paraphrased it. I think some people sink into the dark abyss below, while otherd walk in the shadows away from the sun.
AS long as I am alive, I will walk in the shadows alone with strength, yet fear. One day, maybe another lone wolf or several, will be there walking with me.
